


unconventional

by trixibird



Series: That College Au [4]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Anxiety, Avoidance, Denial of Feelings, Don't be oikawa he does not deal with things in healthy ways, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Mutual Pining, Pining, daichi is a little oblivious and needs his pining explicitly pointed out to him, oikawa's mental health
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2019-01-23
Packaged: 2019-04-04 00:41:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14008386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trixibird/pseuds/trixibird
Summary: four boys finally realizing they might all be in love with each other (and the ensuing crises/resolution)





	1. daichi

Daichi was distinctly uncomfortable with the thought of leaving his roommates home alone while he went back to Miyagi to visit his family, and that was almost more disconcerting than the feeling of discomfort in itself. He’d been back on his own without Oikawa a couple of times before, early into their first year, and it had never brought this feeling with it.

He stared at his bag, next to his feet on the train, and frowned down on it, shoving his phone deep into his pocket to stifle the urge to text Tetsurou and make sure they were all okay still. They were… not _adults_ per se, but with Tetsurou around, there was less chance of a fire, or accidental death. Maybe he shouldn’t-

His phone pinged with a text, and he opened it to a message from his mother about how excited she was to see him that night, and asking if he needed a ride home from the train. He smiled a little and banished the errant, nagging voice telling him to stay back at the apartment. He told her Suga was meeting him and they were going to walk, and that he’d see her later, and then he put his phone on silent and leaned back, allowing the motion of the train to put him in a light doze. 

He hefted his bag over his shoulder as he stepped off the train, shielding his eyes from the brightness of the setting sun. “Take your time, why don’t you,” Suga called from the edge of the platform, smiling at him. Daichi grinned in return, forcing down the last of his apprehension.

“I will, thanks.”

“Oh no, living with them has made you sassy,” Suga mocked a gasp, grabbing Daichi’s hand to pull him into a brief hug. “Who do I have to blame for the attitude, hm? I suspect Oikawa.”

“A mixture of Tooru and Tetsu,” Daichi said easily. “How are your classes? Have you found a third roommate yet?” They fell into stride as if it were natural, like they were still in high school and on their way to pick up Asahi for practice. It was nostalgic, but unlike the period between graduating and beginning his first year, Daichi didn’t want to turn back the clock.

“Classes are good,” Suga slipped his hands into his pockets. “So far it’s still Hajime and I, but neither of us can say we’re unhappy with it. We should have somebody else to split rent with by the start of second year.”

“You still haven’t told me how that started,” Daichi mused. He’d asked, of course. More than once. Suga shot him a cryptic smile and didn’t say anything. Even with the silence, it was a pleasant walk. Familiar.

“How’s the team doing?”

Suga didn’t have to ask which one. “Ennoshita keeps them in line well enough, though they’ll never be as afraid of pissing him off as they were of you. None of them got suspended from club activities this year, and it looks like they’re going to be headed to nationals again.”

“That’s good. They deserve it.” _Hooligans that they are, they really do._

“From what I hear, your team is doing very well, also,” Suga pointed out. “It’s surprising to see so many first years on the court so consistently at that level, isn’t it?”

“It is. But Tooru is just something else, and when he’s out there with Ushijima and Koutarou, they seem nearly unstoppable. I would hate to be on the other side of the net. And Tetsu, he’s talented at blocking, he’s observant and tricky, and having them all out there makes us strong.”

“You’re no slouch yourself, Daichi.”

“No, with Yaku and I both, we’re very solid at receiving. But the others, you should just _see_ them play together. Since the mid-way point of the year we’ve all been working like a team that’s meant to be together, it’s almost hard to put words to how _right_ it feels.” He stopped to take a breath and force his thoughts away from the boys at the apartment again. “Do you miss it, Suga?”

“I do. But I won’t play competitively in college. It just wouldn’t be the same.”

“Does Iwaizumi still play?”

“Recreationally. We play for a for-fun league at the local rec centre. He’s reliable, easy to play with. Kinda like you, except he plays offensively.”

When they reached his house, Suga left him, promising they’d grab ramen and catch up more later. Daichi slipped in and set his bag aside, waiting until he’d taken his shoes off to call out, “I’m home!”

He was ambushed by his younger siblings almost immediately, two small bodies flying into his legs at high velocity as they both screeched, “Onii-san!” He chuckled, leaning down enough to get an arm around each of them for a brief hug.

“Welcome home, Daichi,” his mother smiled at him from the kitchen door, eyes wrinkling at the corners. He returned the smile and gave her a hug as soon as he could untangle himself from his siblings.

“It’s good to be home.”

“Come into the kitchen, I have tea ready. How are your classes?”

* * *

 “ _How are those boys of yours? You seem to get along very well._ ”

Daichi stared at his phone, fighting down the urge to text one of them, just to see how things were going. He bit his lip and set the phone down, rolling over to face the wall. It was stupid, this undying need to make sure they were okay, that the apartment was okay. Make sure Tetsu got home safe from his shift bartending, that Koutarou and Tooru hadn’t spent the night in the gym overworking themselves.

He rolled over to pick the phone back up and pulled up a message thread.

_I think I have a problem._

_the obvious one, or???_

Daichi frowned. _Obvious?_

_don’t tell me you haven’t noticed, daichi. i might have to come over and smack some sense into you and i’m way too tired to walk to your house right now_

Daichi shuddered at the thought of being on the other side of Suga’s frustration. That had never worked out for Asahi.

_I’m worried about my roommates but I don’t want to check in and have them think I have no confidence in them._

_do you?_

_The three of them in tandem aren’t the best at taking care of themselves._ He rolled onto his back. _But, I don’t think that’s the only reason I’m worried, if that makes sense?_

It took a moment for Suga to reply and Daichi had the sense that somewhere, the other boy was laughing at him.

_daichi you can’t seriously still be in denial about this? i always knew you’d be hopeless at romance but this is something else_

_Wait, romance_? Daichi’s eyes widened and he stared at the message until the screen went dark.

_Who said anything about romance, Suga?_

_you’ve been in love with them for the better part of the year, daichi. from the sounds of it, they all feel the same. you’re wasting time being oblivious, you know? so settle your Big Gay Crisis and go get your man. men. same difference._

Daichi set the phone down again, rubbing at his eyes. No way.

Sure, he sometimes went out of his way to visit Tetsurou at the bar, even though he didn’t really like alcohol, and make sure he wasn’t walking home alone too late. And he’d spent more than one night up past three a.m. making sure Koutarou understood his assignments and turned them in on time. Made sure Tooru ate and did his stretches. It was worth it, to see that knowing smirk on Tetsurou’s face when he assured him he would be back before midnight, or to watch understanding dawn in Koutarou’s eyes, genuine smile curling his lips as he finished something important. Tooru’s frustrated tears made things hard sometimes, but when he came back from PT with a small smile on his face and his steps were a little smoother, it made Daichi relax.

He just… liked taking care of people. He always had. His mother used to ruffle his hair and grin every time he insisted on helping with the chores, or picked her weeds from the garden to make her smile when she was sad. It felt good.

So, sure, he liked taking care of his roommates. That didn’t mean he was in love with them.

Daichi rolled over and forced himself to sleep.

* * *

 “It’s Tooru’s rest day,” Daichi muttered on sunday morning, glaring down at his phone. “And he’s not answering me.” His mother chuckled, setting a bowl of rice down in front of him.

“If you’re worried,” she said, “then call.” On the other side of the table, his siblings bickered about their portion sizes. “I’m sure he won’t be opposed to hearing from you, after being separated.”

“I’ve only been away for two days,” Daichi pointed out, pocketing his phone to eat. He was concerned, sure, but Tetsurou could be relied upon to remind Tooru to take the day off. Probably.

“He’s your boyfriend, sweetie, he’s not going to be mad.”

Daichi promptly choked on his meal.

“Oh, Daichi. You really didn’t think I’d notice? Or were you afraid I would be upset? I support you no matter what, you know that,” his mother lay a hand over his shoulder as he pounded on his own chest trying to dislodge the obstruction.

“I’m not dating Tooru!”

His mother frowned. “Why not?”

“I’m not- we’re not- we don’t like each other like that, Mom.” Daichi felt his shoulders slump. She snorted, folding her own over her chest and arching an eyebrow at him.

“Honey, you may be fooling him, but you’re not fooling me. I knew about your crush on Sugawara in your first year of high school, I knew about the crush you had on your friend back in middle school. Your entire face lights up when you talk about him- well, any of your roommates, actually.”

Daichi was stuck between shock and mortification. _He’d_ barely even been aware of those crushes. “Mom, I-” He blinked down at his meal. “I’m not sure what to say.”

“Ask him out. I’m not getting any younger, you know, and even if it means no grandchildren from you, I want to see you with somebody who makes you happy.”

Daichi thought back on his conversation with Suga the night before. “And if I- if _all_ of them make me happy?”

His mother just smiled. “Well, then you’re going to have to communicate more, but from what you’ve told me about them, I think you’re going to be fine.”

Daichi nodded slowly. “You’re going to be okay with it?”

“Honey, I’ve been seeing Mrs. Shibata from down the street for four months. I’m not going to treat you differently for loving unconventionally.”

Daichi let out a shaky breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding  and smiled.

* * *

When Daichi got back to the apartment after his long weekend, it was still standing, which was already a good sign. It was late, so he didn’t call out a greeting, just slipped his shoes off and dropped his bag off in the hall leading to their rooms. He could vaguely see the form of Tetsurou, passed out at the peninsula with a textbook in front of him, and two lumps on the couch that were probably Koutarou and Tooru. None of them were awake 

He smiled fondly at them, shaking his head. He lived with a bunch of idiots.

Daichi moved his bag back to his room and retrieved the alien blanket from Tooru’s bed so he could drape it over them on the couch.

“Dai?” Tetsurou asked in a groggy mutter, rubbing at one of his eyes. “W’lcome back.”

“Come on, Tetsu, time for bed. That isn’t good for your back.” He tugged at Tetsurou’s arms, trying to get him to sit up.

“Noo, I’m comfy.”

“You won’t be in an hour.” He managed to wrangle the taller boy to his feet, and shuffle him off toward one of the doors to his bedroom.

“Why aren’t you making _them_ go to bed?” Tetsurou whined, and Daichi chuckled at the sound.

“They’re on the couch, and they look way too” _cute_ “comfortable to move them. They probably won’t regret their position in the morning.” _Especially with the way Koutarou looks at Tooru sometimes._

“I guess,” Tetsurou grumbled, leaning on Daichi enough so that he could tuck his head in Daichi’s neck. His breath tickled, but just like with Koutarou and Tooru, he couldn’t bring himself to move him off.

It was a workout, getting Tetsurou out of his jeans and shirt and under the covers. As exhausted as he was, Tetsurou was barely any help. Daichi heaved a sigh when he finally managed, straightening his back and groaning at the crack in his lower spine when he did so.

“How was your weekend home?” Tetsurou slurred, peering up at Daichi through his lashes.

“Insightful,” Daichi answered, running his fingers through Tetsurou’s messy hair. “Get some sleep, Tetsu.” He turned the lights off as he left.


	2. tooru

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hajime would probably praise his maturity for this decision. Or call him an idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tooru is, as always, a bit of an anxious mess. 
> 
> also, this was written to neptune by sleeping at last, on repeat. I really recommend reading it the same way, as it suits the vibe (and tooru in general in this series) so well. optimum reading atmosphere for this chapter.

Tooru wasn't stupid. He knew there was a sort of tension between himself and his roommates, not the sort that made things _awkward_ , but the kind like they were all waiting for one another to make a move.

Tooru wasn’t stupid. But he also wasn't good with relationships, so while it might pain him to step back and let the other three coalesce into something more ( _something he desperately wanted to be part of_ ), it was necessary. He knew he could be a selfish person, but he also wanted to see them happy.

Hajime would probably praise his maturity for this decision. Or call him an idiot. But he wasn't planning on _telling_ Hajime, so he would never get to learn which.

Besides, the school year was over soon, so he could find a new place to live where he wouldn't have to torture himself watching the men he loved find happiness in one another without him. It would suck at first- Tooru was getting used to waking up with one of the others, eating with them, generally spending most of his free time with them. Being alone again, or with people he wasn’t close to… Well, it would be another adjustment.

A _necessary_ one.

Tooru skimmed through _roommate wanted_ ads on his phone, sheet mask in place, laying back on the couch and ignoring the temporary silence. It would be another twenty minutes until Tetsu got back, and until then he could scroll in peace.

 _Utilities paid- looking for female roommate, 18+ only!_ One advertisement proudly boasted. Tooru shuddered and kept scrolling past.

 _Small bedroom (2.1x2.4m) ¥80,000 per month._ The apartment was close to campus and in a nice neighbourhood, but the asking price was still too high for a room that small.

 _Cheap rent + benefits! Send Pics._ Just, no.

None of the ads so far were more appealing than staying. And on top of that, it was too late to apply for the university dormitories. He knew Tetsu was planning on renewing the lease, and they’d have a tougher time paying for this place if Tooru left, so logically his best bet was to stay put, but...

_I can’t stay and watch._

Tooru huffed out a frustrated sigh and lay his phone down on his chest, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling. Fifteen minutes. Tetsu said he was bringing ramen home with him, but Tooru’s stomach was turning unpleasantly, and he wasn’t sure he could stomach it. He heaved himself off the couch and discarded the sheet mask, moving to his bed so he could curl up under his huge mint blanket and hide in the dark.

_(they can always find somebody else. you’re not that hard to replace, Tooru)_

Volleyball would be awkward if he just left without a word.

_(you could always transfer schools)_

_I want to play with them. I love this team._

_(you loved Seijoh, too, and look how fucking well that turned out for_ them _)_

Tooru shook his head and pulled the blanket tighter around himself. He was shaking when he heard the front door opening, and then Tetsu’s voice, muffled through the walls and calling out a greeting.

_(he knows you’re here, not responding won’t do you any good)_

_(coward)_

Tetsu pushed his door open a little and Tooru fought to keep his breathing even and his body as relaxed as possible under the blanket. It was dark enough out that he might just get away with faking sleep.

“Did you fight with Iwaizumi again? Tooru we went to summer camp together for three years, I know what you look like when you’re pretending to sleep.”

There went that plan.

“I’m just tired, Tetsu.” A weight collapsed on the bed next to him and Tetsu tugged at his blanket until he could see Tooru’s face.

“You _do_ look tired, but you also look upset. What happened?”

“Tetsu,” Tooru whined, drawing out the last vowel. “Nothing happened. I’m tired.” Tetsu snorted, then burrowed himself under Tooru’s blankets with him and manhandled him until they were spooning, Tooru’s waist caged in Tetsu’s arms. “Tetsu.”

“If you’re tired, then sleep.” Tetsu nudged his calf with his frigid toes and Tooru squealed a little. “I’m too comfy to move now, though.”

“Kou-chan is right when he calls you a big dumb cat,” Tooru snipped but there was no heat behind it. He was comfortable, and warm, and selfish enough to bask in the affection just for a little longer.

When he woke from his dozing, Tetsu was gone and there was chatter from the living room. His heart pounced into his throat and he buried himself further into the blankets with a quiet, wounded noise.

He was such a _goddamned_ coward.

He heard Dai’s soft but pronounced footsteps in the hall near his door, the slight creak of the wood being pushed open. Light spilled across his floor and he fought again to keep still.

“He’s been asleep all evening?” Dai asked quietly.

“Yeah. Something’s up, but he won’t talk to me.” Tetsu returned. “Maybe you should text Iwaizumi.”

_Please, no. I can’t lie to Hajime, he knows me too well._

Tooru bit down on his tongue to suppress a sob.

“No, I’ll talk to Tooru tomorrow. My class is cancelled so we’ll be home alone together after Koutarou leaves.”

_No no no please._

There wasn’t a way for him to uncancel Daichi’s class, so his options included sneaking out, astute avoidance, or finding an excuse to be out of their apartment all day tomorrow.

Daichi was too stubborn for avoidance.

Tooru frantically searched his phone for an excuse, anything to get him out-

And there, right when he needed it, was the unanswered text from the cute girl he sometimes sat next to in astronomy, asking if he’d like coffee. All day he’d been trying to figure out a polite way to say no, out of character for him, but he was firmly _not_ looking for another relationship right now-

_Any relationship, Tooru, you’re not involved with your roommates._

Something in his chest ached a little bit though, accused him of betrayal when he typed out a response, asking if she was free in the morning.

He could find something else to keep him occupied until his first class, and then he wouldn’t have to talk during volleyball practice and would beg off talking when they got home, pushing that he was _tired and needed rest_ because they all nagged him about resting more.

_Fucking coward._

* * *

“Good morning, Yui-chan,” Tooru’s bright smile felt like a fragile facade, especially after taking in the expression on Daichi’s face when he’d run out the door, like he knew _exactly_ what Tooru was doing and was _hurt_ by his efforts in avoidance.

“Good morning, Oikawa-chan,” Yui was pretty enough, soft spoken and shy, and he felt a little bad using her as an excuse when he knew she deserved better. “Excuse my bluntness, but are you feeling well? You look a little tired.”

“I’m good,” he smiled wider and waved his hand as if to dismiss her worries, “I was just up late studying is all!” And half a lie was better than a whole one, right? “Should we go in?” He opened the door to the cafe for her and ushered her in, eager to leave this conversation behind.

It was a pleasant way to waste the two hours before his first class. Yui seemed to understand his intentions, that it wasn’t a real date, but he’d like to become friends with her, if possible. She almost reminded him of Hajime, a little blunt, a little disbelieving of his white lies, but softer than Hajime could ever manage.

Speaking of Hajime,

_Daichi is worried about you. Stop being a recluse and spend some time with your roommates, trashikawa, they care._

He left it read but without answer, hoping Hajime would get the hint to leave it alone. His class was a blur, long and tedious, and he was tired by the time he made it to the locker room before practice, where Tetsurou grabbed him by the bicep and forcefully turned him so he could get a good look at his face.

“Jeez, Tetsu,” Oikawa frowned, “that could bruise, you know.”

“Did you sleep at all?”

“You’d know, I slept for hours.”

“In the evening, not at night. You look like a wreck, Tooru, you shouldn’t be practising like this.” He still had a grip on Tooru’s arm but it was less caging and more grounding. It made anxious knots curl in Tooru’s stomach and he knew he should break the grip but just couldn’t bring himself to do it. Tetsurou had large, warm hands, just like Daichi, just like Koutarou, just like Hajime. He was conditioned to find it soothing.

_Stop lying, Hajime was only soothing a fraction of the time._

“I’m fine.”

“Tetsurou’s right, you look a mess,” Yaku put in dispassionately from his locker, a few down. “Go home, Oikawa, we can’t have our setter exhausted for the game this weekend.”

Ignoring the way his heart warmed, as it always had when the words _our setter_ were uttered, Tooru shook his head. He _needed_ this, needed the exercise and the distraction from his own head and the slew of text messages Hajime had been sending, each becoming more irritated than the last.

“I don’t want to,” Tooru finally said, voice much more meek than he’d intended, beginning to shake a little. Tetsurou’s eyes widened at the motion and he brought his free hand up to hold Tooru’s other arm, pressing his back into the lockers to ground him and centering himself in front of Tooru, taking up his field of vision and forcing him to focus on him. The way he had when Tooru had that panic attack at summer camp when they were fourteen.

“Tooru, hey, look at me, breathe with me.”

Tooru shook his head. “I don’t want to go home.”

“You don’t have to, but you can’t practise like this, Tooru, you know that. Sit out, do some stretches for your knee and watch. Tell us where we can improve, plan out some new combinations. Can you do that for me?” Tetsurou’s voice was gaining an edge, losing that cool quality he so often had, his dark eyes wide and expressive.

Tooru took a shaky breath and nodded, knowing he wasn’t going to make Tetsurou budge from experience.

_It would be so easy to just let myself love you._

“You doing okay Tooru?” Koutarou was all bright smiles, though not as wide or as excited as usual as he bounced into their space, Tetsurou making room for him automatically. He wrapped one thick arm around Tooru's shoulders, bringing him into an affectionate half hug.

Yaku shot a knowing glance at Tetsurou, who pursed his lips and looked around for a moment. “I’m gonna go let coach know you’re sitting this one out. I’ll be right back.” He gave Tooru’s biceps another squeeze before disappearing out the door. Daichi stepped in soon after, and his eyes gravitated toward Tooru and Koutarou immediately.

Guilt twisted Tooru’s stomach.

Daichi offered him a water bottle wordlessly, and a protein bar, and Tooru bit back the overwhelming urge to apologize. He hadn’t even noticed he’d missed lunch.

“Thank you, Daichi.”

“Don’t neglect your health, Tooru. Also, please answer Iwaizumi. He’s getting frantic.”

Even though Tooru knew he’d been an ass, Daichi’s eyes held nothing but warmth and concern, and the knots in Tooru’s stomach turned.

_I don’t want to walk away from this._

He was doomed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long, between my own mental health bullshit and the end of spring semester, moving home, finding a summer job, etc, it's been a stressful few months. I'll try not to go 3.5 months without an update again.
> 
> next should be Tetsurou, and then Koutarou after. This will be 4 or 5 chapters, not sure yet.


	3. interlude.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a small interlude immediately following the previous chapter, from suga and iwa's p.o.v.

When Koushi entered his apartment late that night, Hajime was sitting on the couch, growling at his phone. It was not an entirely new sight, but a bit concerning nonetheless.

“Something happen?”

“I’m going to go to Tokyo to kill my best friend,” Hajime muttered, still glaring at the phone. Koushi laughed, and the glare was turned on him. He waved it away.

“Oh come on, I thought it was something serious at first. You’re always mad at Oikawa for something, what’s the big deal?” Koushi toed off his shoes and left his bag in the doorway on the floor - and it was a testament to how distracted Hajime was that he didn’t even mention it - before taking the seat next to Hajime and sprawling out, throwing one leg over Hajime’s thigh.

“Daichi is worried, and Oikawa’s ignoring me, and  _ apparently everybody else who gives a damn about him _ the fucking punk.” Oh, there wasn’t even a hint of the usual fondness in his tone- he was  _ worried _ .

“How many texts have you sent him?”

“A thousand, feels like,” Hajime threw his phone down on the table, probably too hard to be good for it, and Koushi winced a bit.

“Give it a couple of hours. Daichi is stubborn. If he really needs to talk to Oikawa, he’ll make it work.”

“See, I know you’re right, but I know Oikawa better than you do and he will do  _ anything  _ to avoid a conversation he doesn’t want to have.” Hajime ran his hands through his hair. “I should have talked that dumbass out of Tokyo. I could have made him stay where I could keep an eye on him. He would have been a bit upset, but he’d get over it.”

“He’s where he’s supposed to be,” Koushi argued softly. “Between those three, they’ll make him see sense. And they’ll take care of him. Maybe not the same way you would, but he’s not dead yet.” He patted Hajime’s bicep. “Let’s get some food in you, you might think a bit clearer after that.”

* * *

Food did not make him think clearer, nor did it make him any less worried. Hajime waited for Koushi to go to bed before picking up his phone again- he already knew his texts had all gone unanswered.

Oikawa could be a stubborn beast.

_ Don’t do anything stupid. _

Surprisingly, the phone vibrated in his hand not two minutes later.

“ _ Hajime? _ ”

“You called me, you know damn well who it is. Dumbass.”

“ _ Rude, _ ” Oikawa huffed, though he didn’t sound too upset. Hajime was torn between relief and irritation. “ _ I’m- sorry I was ignoring you. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, and I knew you would convince me to talk to Daichi _ .”

“Yeah, well. Don’t do it again or I’m going to get on a train and kick you.” Hajime took a deep breath to calm himself. “What got you so freaked out, anyway?”

Oikawa didn’t say anything, but the rustling on the other end told Hajime he was fidgeting, as he was like to do anytime he really didn’t want to answer a question.  He let the silence persist a moment longer and then said, “well?”

“ _ I was trying to find a new place to live for the next academic year, because our lease is almost up, and I just- was upset. _ ”

Hajime’s frown deepened. “I know for a fact Daichi has mentioned that they intend to renew the lease, so you can’t be stressed about moving when you don’t actually  _ have _ to. Why were you really looking for a new place?”

Oikawa hiccupped, and Hajime was suddenly and painfully aware that his friend  _ should not be alone at the moment. _

“Where are the others?” Hajime asked, glancing at the clock.

“ _ They’re all in their rooms. _ ”

_ And Bokuto really isn’t with you _ ?

“Go find Daichi. Sleep with him. I’ll grab a train in the morning, we can talk in person, but I don’t want you alone right now.”

“ _ I don’t want to bother Dai-chan. I was kind of an ass to him. _ ”

“You’re  _ always _ kind of an ass, Oikawa. I’m going to text him and you’d better get over there or he’ll come find you. See you soon.” Oikawa sniffed and muttered an unhappy affirmative before hanging up. Hajime threw some clothes in a bag and booked a ticket for first thing on his phone.

Oikawa couldn’t deflect when they were face-to-face.

* * *

He looked tired.

_ Tired _ was probably the nice way of putting it, though, and Hajime was hardly in the habit of being nice to Oikawa.

“You look like shit.”

That was better.

“Thanks, Iwa-chan,” Oikawa frowned at him, screwing up his face even more. They’d left his apartment under the watchful eyes of Kuroo (Hajime would never admit that Kuroo’s brand of calculating stare made him a little uneasy). 

The small cafe Oikawa had led them to served breakfast, which Hajime devoured voraciously, having skipped a meal at home to catch the early train. Oikawa bought a too-fancy coffee and a muffin, which he mostly tore into little pieces instead of eating. Hajime was grateful that his coffee was probably loaded with enough calories to make up for the lack of appetite.

“So, what are you waiting for?” Hajime asked after his stomach stopped trying to consume itself. “Tell me what the problem is already.”

Oikawa began to tear the wrapper for his muffin into small pieces as well.

“I don’t- I’m-” he huffed in frustrated sadness. “If I leave, I can’t be left behind.”

Hajime stopped chewing to stare at him for a moment. It was the sort of twisted logic he expected from Oikawa, sure, but-

“That’s fucking stupid. What kind of dumbass mindset is that? You’re making  _ yourself _ miserable so they don’t have to do it for you? Believe it or not they’re all good people, they’re not just going to take off into the fucking night and leave you-” Oikawa slapped a hand over his mouth, eyes wide.

“I forgot how profane you get when you haven’t slept a full night.”

“That’s your own fucking fault, Tooru,” Hajime snapped, just to prove a point. Oikawa flinched a bit at his tone and he let his shoulders fall. “Hey, no changing the subject. You’ve been comfortable with them for months, what’s got your insecurities up now?”

“I think they’re in love.” Oikawa ran his hands over his face. “Or, maybe not  _ in love _ in love yet, but it’s going to happen, I can see it, and I-”

“Don’t want to get left behind because you have feelings for them?”

Oikawa nodded, looking down at his long fingers where he was back to ripping the damn wrapper apart. Hajime heaved a sigh. Oikawa was a lot to deal with.

(It was worth it. Always had been.)

“Look, I don’t know them. Not well. And I can’t see what you see, cause I’m not here, but- for what it’s worth, I think you should stick around. Let things happen without actively avoiding it.”  _ Daichi at least I’m confident would want you in the relationship. _ He eyed Oikawa for another minute.

“Crisis averted? Because next time I’m just going to sic Hanamaki and Matsukawa on you and let them deal with it.”

Oikawa huffed, but there was a small smile on his lips. “I’ll stop running. But I stand by my logic.”

“Your logic is to hurt yourself when you don’t even know that things are going to end badly. You’re kind of a dumbass.”

Oikawa protested, but he was still smiling, and he’d gone from the anxious fidgeting to holding his coffee cup in both hands, savouring the warmth between sips, so Hajime definitely counted it as a crisis averted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no songs for this chapter, but if you're interested I can post playlists and such, or you can ask me questions at trixibird.tumblr.com  
> i'll also be posting little notes and headcanons from the series, and I'd be happy to chat with you (no promises I'll be consistently active, though, between work and school)


	4. tetsurou

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i rewrote this chapter three times (in case you were wondering why it's been so long) and I'm still not happy with it, and this series is not tooru-centric, he's just the single biggest obstacle to their relationship

Their couch was obscenely small for four large young men, but none of them ever complained, and that was all Tetsu really needed.

Kenma had called him touch-starved, once upon a time, when they were younger and Kenma decided he didn't really like other people's hands on him (which was _fine_ , Tetsu understood boundaries like any other human being, Kenma didn't need to give him that sad look) and after that, he made an effort to avoid unnecessary touch. To prove he was okay and self-sufficient and not _missing_ anything.

(It was easier not to set himself up for disappointment.)

But then he and Kou became friends, and Kou was just _friendly_ , and _tactile_ , and everything Tetsu needed at the time. He threw his arms over Tetsu's shoulder, slapped him on the back when he was excited, hugged him or tugged on his jersey when he was upset. He touched casually, for no apparent reason, and clearly wasn't even consciously aware, let alone going to stop.

Tetsu, who had received no affection from his parents that he could ever remember, relished in it.

It had increased tenfold in the months since the four of them had moved into their appointment, extended and _changed_ in the best way, and between all of them. Changed to casual hands brushing, grabbing at hips to move people in their small kitchen, knees bumping when they sat next to each other around their small coffee table with take-out. Soft smiles, gentle fingers prodding at bruises or other injuries, hair ruffles and group hugs during a volleyball game. And the couch.

Tetsu figured he could die happy on this couch, legs dead asleep under Daichi's weight, with Kou and Tooru piled on the other end, legs tangled with Tetsu's. It was warm and comfortable, and it felt so good not to have to watch his long limbs, to shy away from touch.

Kou was definitely asleep, and he thought Daichi was as well, which was typical of them when Tetsu picked a less action-heavy sci-fi flick for movie night. He hadn't even been paying attention for the past twenty minutes, basking in the warmth of contact and watching Tooru focus on the screen with an intensity he usually reserved for the court.

It was perfect, really. Except he had to pee.

“Tooru,” he whispered, dragging his eyes from the screen. “Help me shift Daichi so I can get up?”

“Dunno Tetsu-Chan,” a slow, smug, stupidly attractive smirk crawled across Tooru's face. “What's in it for me?”

“I won't refuse to cook for you this week, leaving you to survive on Kou's shitty instant ramen and bottled milk tea,” Tetsu deadpanned, and while they both knew he was bluffing, Tooru still shifted Daichi, taking most of his weight onto himself so he was buried beneath both Daichi and Kou.

He seemed more relaxed since Iwaizumi had knocked some sense into him. And since he'd broken up with that shithead boyfriend he'd been seeing.

Tetsu didn’t rush back, taking a moment to grab two bottles of tea—milk tea for Tooru, plain black tea for himself—from the kitchen, and pausing in the doorway for a moment to watch as Kou shifted, still dead asleep, draping himself further over Tooru and burying his face in the side of Tooru’s neck. Tooru had a soft smile on his face, like he’d finally figured out that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

It was only a matter of time, now.

He curled up in the space left for him, reaching out to drag Daichi back across his legs, and handed Tooru his bottle of tea, getting a quiet _thanks_ in return as Tooru twisted the cap off with those long fingers of his and took a swig without disturbing Kou, practice making his motions smooth.

Tatsu cursed quietly when his phone chirped, causing Daichi to let out a sort groan, though he showed no signs of actual waking. Tetsu dug the device out of his pocket and frowned. Their landlord had no right to text him this goddamn late on a Thursday, especially when he still didn’t exactly have an answer for her.

“Something wrong?” Tooru asked.

Tetsu shook his head. “No, just Futami-san asking about the lease again.”

Tooru hummed and arched an eyebrow. “I thought you’d already told her we’d be staying.”

Tetsu’s heart stopped for a solid two seconds, grip on his phone tightening as he tried not to wear shock on his face. _Did he just-_

“We? You’re not moving out, then?” He hated how his voice shook a little.

Tooru’s shoulders hunched up a bit, Kou grumbling softly in response. He reached for the back of Kou’s neck to soothe him, offering a half-shrug and looking down at the coffee table as he did so. “I didn’t realize you knew I-”

“Tooru, are you serious? I’ve known you for years, it wasn’t hard to put together. You have a habit of running away when it’s a people-problem, and you’re _definitely_ not as subtle about your emotions as you think you are.”

Tooru physically flinched at that, and Tetsu regretted his tone for about half a second. “We’ve been friends since that summer camp, Tooru, and it may have been a long-distance friendship, but we’ve been through a lot together. I don’t understand why you’d want to just _leave_.”

Maybe Tetsu was more hurt by it than he thought he’d been. Tooru curled tighter around himself so Tetsu threw one of his long arms out over the couch so he could grab at his sleeve. “Don’t shut me out, Tooru.”

“You’re gonna think it’s stupid. Iwa-chan did.”

“Try me.”

“You and Iwa-chan, you’re the only friends I’ve ever had who stuck around longer than school transitions. Makki and Matsu too, now, but Iwa since we were kids, and you since middle school. I’m- I’m a lot to deal with, I _know_ that, but people _leave_ because of it, so-” he broke off and shook his head violently enough to dislodge Kou, who made a wounded noise and pressed his forehead into Tooru’s sharp-looking collarbones. He still didn’t wake, somehow.

“What, you were scared? Tooru, you should have _talked to me_ , I’m not going to leave you, and especially not _now_ of all times. I’m trying to get _you_ to _stay_ , and Iwaizumi and I may not know each other, but we both know you’re worth sticking around for.”

Tetsu loved their couch, but this was not the place to have this conversation, so when Tooru looked down and shook his head again, he gently shifted Daichi so he could get up again, and moved Kou off of Tooru long enough that he could get his arms under Tooru to pull him bodily off the couch toward Tetsu’s room.

He was pretty sure neither of them woke up.

Tetsu was shaking when he pulled Tooru down to sit on the bed next to him, dragging the brunette into his arms, unsure if it was for Tooru’s benefit or his own. “You’re a goddamn mess, Oikawa Tooru, and you’re not getting away from this conversation.”

“Stubborn, Tetsu.” Tooru peered up at him and held Tetsu’s jaw in one hand. “Why do you look so shaken?”

“One of my best friends just told me he thought I was going to abandon him.”

It was a dig, it was maybe a little unnecessarily harsh, but sometimes that was what Tooru needed to get his head straight.

Tooru didn’t look hurt or upset though. His eyes widened and he shifted, lifting himself into Tetsu’s lap, probably without conscious thought as he grabbed Tetsu’s face in both hands and stared at him.

“Fuck, Tetsurou, I’m _sorry_ ,” his hands were shaking now too. “You’re _nothing_ like them, don’t look at me like that, you’re _not_ , you’re _so good_ , I’m _sorry_ -” he was babbling by the time Tetsu figured it out.

“I know I’m not, Tooru,” he said, but he was so tired, he just drew Tooru into his chest so he could rest his head on his shoulders. “I know. It’s okay, you didn’t mean to.” He was warm all over, everywhere Tooru was pressed against him, and he _did_ know. He was touch-starved and he was afraid of losing people, just like Tooru was, but he knew he was nothing like his parents.

“I’m not leaving you. I’m not.”

“Okay,” Tooru nodded, “okay. I’m sorry. I’m staying, I promise, I’m staying. I want to stay.”

Tetsu let out a long breath, hands gripping at Tooru's back. “I want you to stay.” _I always want you to stay._

* * *

Tetsurou woke up tangled in Tooru, and completely warm. He’d never complain that Kou felt so comfortable staying with Tooru most nights, but there was something comforting about waking up with another person’s warmth that he would never get sick of.

Maybe when they finally came together they could switch to two bedrooms. Or one, though a second might be good for summer, when it was too hot to put four large young men in a single bed, or when one of them needed some space.

Either way, Tetsu wanted to get used to waking up with another person.

He buried his face in Tooru’s hair, content to continue laying there a while longer- he didn’t have class fridays, had no real incentive to get up other than the emptiness of his stomach now that he was conscious of it.

Eventually he pressed a quick kiss to Tooru’s forehead, convinced he was still asleep, and pulled himself away as gently as he could. Tooru sniffled a little and rolled over, taking the majority of Tetsu’s blankets with him.

The coffee pot was half full, meaning Kou was already gone. Daichi sat at the kitchen counter, poking at a bowl of cereal in a way that meant he was wholly focused on the papers in front of him. He didn’t notice Tetsu until he pulled the fridge open, startling back with wide eyes.

“You okay? We woke up in the middle of the night and you and Tooru weren’t on the couch with us.”

Tetsu wasn’t entirely sure what they’d all done to deserve Daichi, honestly.

“We had an emotional night,” he shrugged. “We were both upset. Not _at_ each other, we didn’t really fight, we just needed to say some things, straighten things out.” He offered Daichi a smile. “Tooru and I have been through a lot together, no worries about us.”

Daichi nodded, but didn’t go back to the thick leaflet of papers in front of him. “Anything we need to know about?”

“Nothing important, but I’ve got to call Futami-san to confirm the lease for next year.”

Daichi looked like he wanted to get excited, but there was a bit of wariness to his expression. “He’s decided, then?”

“He’s staying.”

All of the tension left Daichi’s body. Tetsurou could relate. This meant they were _that much closer_ to the relationship they all unconsciously wanted. Tooru was much less of a wildcard with the promise to stick around.

Tetsu clapped a hand on Daichi’s shoulder and went about making breakfast for himself and Tooru, whenever he dragged himself out of bed. Daichi turned back to his work, though the grin never left his face.

That night, after class and practice that ran an hour long for Tooru and Kou, who had to be physically removed from the court to shower, they all curled up on the couch again, Daichi’s sappy rom-com playing in the background, Tetsu and Daichi sitting next to each other with Kou and Tooru draped over their laps, both half asleep, Kou’s calves warm under Tetsu’s hands.

Their couch was obscenely small for four large young men, but Tetsu loved it.

 


End file.
